“Why are you single?” So goes the enquiry of the happily partnered-off. A reply might come in any manner of ways: “I can’t seem to find anyone.” Or perhaps, “I just got out of a relationship.” The concerned party, desperate for the single person to find happiness, sympathises in the knowledge that it’s just a temporary state of affairs, extolling the virtues and paramount importance of partnering off with someone if true happiness is to be found.
Our society is one which attributes immense value to romantic love. Take Valentine’s Day – just one of many times in the year in which a dictated romanticism states that couples are, categorically, succeeding better in life. “We devalue people that are single and, in doing that, we devalue ourselves if we’re single,” says Raul Aparici, a psychotherapist and head of faculty at The School of Life. “It might be that we’re quite happy being on our own. But then we start to think, what might people think of me?”