THE JOURNAL
Illustration by Mr Jori Bolton
We’ve all been there. You arrive at the beach laden with bags, sunshades, towels and possibly the odd child or two. You sit down and the water emits its wavering call. It is time to strip off and jump in. But then a thin, vinegary voice pops into your head. It says: “Isn’t your belly too big? Are your biceps not like knots in cottons? And those poor legs look like drainpipes.” Confidence drains and soon you are sweating it out in your polo shirt.
When we talk about daring to bare at the beach or poolside, we’re really talking about confidence in our body image. “Research suggests that body image dissatisfaction occurs when there is a discrepancy between how an individual views their body (actual body image) and how they want it to be (ideal body image),” say psychologists at the University of Sydney.`
So, how do we learn to love our bodies and shed the shirt on the beach this summer? MR PORTER presents a guide.
01. Get away from social media
Social media has the same relationship to truth as a horse does to an orangutang: very little. All those toned torsos – or photoshopped torsos more often than not – on the ’gram have a pernicious effect. According to the American Psychological Association, young adults (aged 17-25) who reduced their social media use by 50 per cent for a few weeks felt better about their body. So, before your holiday, take a break from social media, too.
02. The pen is mightier than the sword
Think about what your body can do rather than how it looks – and write down a list of things that you are grateful for with this in mind. So, if you can run a three-minute mile, tackle the high diving board or are just really good at having conveniently timed naps, write these down and emphasise that extraordinary ability. Once you hardwire yourself to respect your abilities rather than your appearance, then the beach is your oyster, as it were.
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03. Use mindfulness to give yourself break
Dr Kristin Neff is a self-compassion researcher and associate professor at the University Texas at Austin. She recommends a three-strand approach to utilising mindfulness to improve body image. First, self-kindness: actively soothing and taking care of distress. Second, common humanity: framing your feelings within the common human experience – rather than isolating and criticising yourself being unlike others or not as good as them. Third, recognising what we feel we are burdened with and then soothing ourselves. And, reader, this approach really works, I can tell you from experience.
04. Accentuate the positive
Buy well – and buy what you like and which accentuates the positives about yourself. “If you have a more full silhouette, then choose a pair of shorts with longer legs,” says the stylist Ms Eilidh Greig. “But mainly keep it loose and comfortable.”
If you have a slender silhouette, Greig recommends going for “a more form fitting pair of shorts – maybe a trunk and remember patterns add volume”. Her final and most important advice: “Wear what makes you the most comfortable and happiest.”
05. Set boundaries, don’t build a wall around yourself
If you are dead set on changing your body shape, do so in a healthy, sensible way. Exercise more, but do so mindfully, rather than treating it like a slog. It should never feel like a pain in the neck.
Find the activity that makes you happy – it should be fun and give you joy, and not just be about reaching a point of looking like Mr Arnold Schwarzenegger or Mr Hedi Slimane. The end point should be your own happiness with yourself.
It might help to engage with a group of other people with similar goals to emphasise the social side of the activity. It is important to support each other and take the negative out of the equation.
