The original Kumar in the Harold & Kumar films and a former staff member in President Barack Obama’s administration, Mr Kal Penn stars in the psychological horror movie Smile, which comes out on 30 September.

“A polar bear walks into a bar. Bartender says, ‘Hey, polar bear! What’ll ya have?’ Polar bear says, ‘Well, I’ll have a gin………… And tonic.’ Bartender asks, ‘What’s with the big pause?’ Polar bear holds up his arms. ‘I dunno. I was born with ’em.’”

The comedy legend and Daily Show commentator Mr Lewis Black is touring across the US this autumn.

“My favourite is George Carlin’s monologue, ‘Seven Dirty Words You Can Never Say On Television’ on his Class Clown album. It is a truly mythic piece of comedy. It is honest. It is genius. It is courageous. It is fucking funny. When I heard it for the first time in the suburbs of Maryland in the basement of my parents’ house, I experienced comedy as a teacher. I understood viscerally the meaning of the First Amendment and God, did I laugh. Did I ever laugh.”

Mr Paul Feig is the director of Bridesmaids and The Heat. His next project, The School For Good And Evil, premieres on Netflix on 21 October.

“To me, the funniest things are movie gags. The funniest is from The Pink Panther Strikes Again [1976]. Peter Sellers has taken over as kind of a chief inspector. They’re telling him some really important things. So, he sits down at his desk. And he’s being very thoughtful. He leans back in this spring-loaded wooden chair, and it breaks. He’s stuck backwards and he can’t sit up. One of the officers is bending over his desk and his tie’s hanging down and so, to pull himself up, Peter Sellers reaches out and grabs the guy’s tie. And pulls himself up. I love physical comedy that makes perfect sense.”

A stand-up veteran, Ms Margaret Cho stars with Mr Joel Kim Booster and Mr Bowen Yang in Fire Island.

“My favourite joke is from, I think, Doug Benson. It’s from The Marijuana-Logues and it’s about having Marvin Gaye smoke weed. You take one hit and you’re like, ‘What’s going on?’”

A comedian and musician, Mr Reggie Watts leads the house band for The Late Late Show With James Corden.

“What did the pedestrian say to Christopher Walken? ‘I’m a big fan!’ I love this joke because the set-up is vague and the response is unrelated. These are my favourite kinds of jokes. I guess some people call them anti-jokes. I just think they’re very funny.”

The actor and comedian Mr James Lance stars in Ted Lasso on Apple TV+ and in the action movie Hounded.

“A dyslexic man walks into a bra.”

Ms Jen Tullock stars in the Emmy-nominated Apple+ series Severance.

“My favourite joke is that in a time of blockchain technology and cloud computing, my hairdryer is still the size of a Civil War cannon. When I travel, it means the difference between checking a reasonable valise and an industrial shipping container the breadth of a Houdini trunk. I did not ask for this life. I am otherwise unvexed. I am otherwise without a single, holy lamentation. This is it. Giants of the electronics industry, I beseech you. Give us a hairdryer that can safely fit in a child’s wagon. Give us a hairdryer smaller than a fruit cart at a medieval May parade. My arms are too short, and I’ve paced for too long to be tasked with this unconscionable nightmare.”

The comedian and actor Retta is best known for playing Donna in Parks And Recreation. She stars in Amazon Prime Video’s adult animated series The Boys Presents: Diabolical.

“It’s my favourite Sheryl Underwood joke. Upon walking onstage with her handbag on her shoulder, she says, ‘I know y’all are wondering, why she got her purse on stage? Cuz there are a whole lot of white people in here. And anybody that’ll steal land from the Indians will damn sure take one or three dolluhs out ya purse.’”

The former Saturday Night Live cast member appears on Food Network’s culinary game show Guy’s Ultimate Game Night, hosted by the restaurateur Mr Guy Fieri.

“My daughter made up this joke. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Interrupting toilet. Interrupting toilet wh-? [Fart sound.]”

The comedian Mr Chris Hardwick hosts the weekly podcast ID10T With Chris Hardwick.

“Boogers! Boogery boogery boogers and butts. Butts and boogers and boogers and butts. Booger butts!! Boooooogerrrrrr buuuuuuuuuuuutts!!!! (Then two solid minutes of mouth-fart noises while making ridiculous faces.)

“Sorry, we have a six-month-old baby and this is killing with her right now.”

The Broadway and Pitch Perfect standout Mr Skylar Astin stars in So Help Me Todd, CBS’s new dramedy series, which starts on 29 September.

“In HBO’s The Comeback, Lisa Kudrow plays an actress named Valerie returning to a sitcom world she once ruled, at least in her own mind. There’s a sequence where we see Valerie practising her one line from the pilot over and over again. The line is: ‘Note to self: after a long day at work, I don’t need to see that.’ In the sequence, we see Valerie obsessively trying to do different readings as she completes her daily tasks. This bit kills me. Obsessing over this line is just so painfully funny to watch. It is something I and most actors can relate to; don’t want to admit we’ve done ourselves and do everything to avoid. It pokes fun at itself and the business while remaining truthful, at times subtle and always funny. Note to self: after a long day at work, I don’t need to see that.”

The comedian Ms Cristela Alonzo’s stand-up special Cristela Alonzo: Middle Classy came out on Netflix in June.

“One of my favourite jokes from Mitch Hedberg: ‘My friend asked me if I wanted a frozen banana. I said, “No, but I want a regular banana later, so yeah.”’ Before I started stand-up, I worked in a comedy club in Dallas where I started by answering phones in the morning when comics would go do morning radio. This was around 2003. First comic I had to answer phones for was Mitch Hedberg. When he played Texas, sometimes he’d have a bass player named Chuck play in the background of his set. Watching him doing jokes like these is magical. I’ll never forget them.”

The comedian Mr Frankie Quinones stars on the new Hulu series This Fool.

“I’m gonna fix that last joke by taking out all the words and adding new ones – Mitch Hedberg. I can listen to Mitch Hedberg all day. He was so clever. The simplicity was the complexity in his jokes. I’m more of a storyteller, so I really appreciate that he can make me laugh in one or two sentences.”

Ms Mayim Bialik played the title character in the sitcom Blossom and Amy Farrah Fowler in The Big Bang Theory. She hosts Celebrity Jeopardy!, which debuts on ABC in September.

“My mom has this joke she tells, which is very not funny, but the fact that she thinks it is makes us laugh so hard. She grew up in a tenement house during WWII in the Bronx and her parents were non-English-speaking sweatshop worker immigrants who never spent money on anything if they didn’t have to. My mom had never eaten out at a restaurant until she was 16 and met my father. Here’s her joke: ‘Mommy, Mommy, can I have pizza?’ Then she waits a beat and says with a straight face, ‘No.’ That’s it. That’s the joke. I know. The first time she told us this joke, we stared at her waiting for the punchline. ‘There is no punchline,’ she said. ‘That’s the joke.’”