THE JOURNAL
Messrs Paul Rudd and Will Ferrell in “Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy” (2004). Photograph by DreamWorks Pictures/Alamy
For the Sun King, Louis XIV, putting on his Sunday best would have involved placing a giant black wig on top of his head, slipping into his highest heels, taking him from 5ft 4in to 7ft, and then sitting still in front of the portrait painter Mr Hyacinthe Rigaud to record the moment for his subjects. This hasn’t happened since France became a republic in 1792, but the curated laissez-faire vanity of the French kings might just live on in the French president, Mr Emmanuel Macron.
Just a week before the presidential elections in April this year, Macron put on his best Sunday ruse and released some photos of his campaign visit to Marseille. One image featured him kicking back in an unbuttoned crisp white shirt on a mustard-yellow leather sofa with an exposed hairy chest, a disparate departure from his clean-cut bourgeois image.
Macron’s thirst trap may have helped him win an election, but it went against the grain. “A man should appear as if he’s spent some time making himself look presentable before leaving the house, but after that he should look as if he’s forgotten all about his appearance,” says Mr Jeremy Langmead, author of Vain Glorious: A Shameless Guide For Men Who Want To Look Their Best, explaining that Macron’s chest hair-baring appeared far too self-conscious.
Like Macron before his unexpected chest-carpet debut, I had always tried to keep my hairiness under wraps. The pace of its sprouting out of my shirt overtook everyone in the puberty race at school and I did my best to hide my body hair by showing no flesh, as if I were dressing like a superhero with a secret. In hindsight, this behaviour seems ridiculous. I am a Middle Eastern man. I have been programmed to be hairy. Chest hair takes pride of place with my father, uncles and grandfathers. It is only in the past two years that I have come to appreciate my self-made keshan rug and realised its power to be, er, quite sexy.
“We’re seeing the light as a society that we don’t necessarily want to emulate that super waxed-up whiteness. [We want to] do things that are more authentic and real”
When I was a teenager, hairy-chested men outside my family had become an endangered species. Mr Pierce Brosnan’s hairy James Bond was replaced by a smooth-chested La Perla-wearing Mr Daniel Craig. Hollywood studios endorsed this hairlessness with gusto, from Mr Ryan Gosling’s sun-kissed waxed abs in Crazy, Stupid, Love to Mr Keanu Reeves’ pale-bodied action man in John Wick. Hairy-bodied men existed only as a kind of nostalgic throwback. Every man looked like a Ken doll. The effects of this on men’s relationship with their body hair have been lasting. According to the market research firm Mintel, in 2018 as many as 46 per cent of all men removed hair from their bodies, up from just over a third (36 per cent) in 2016.
To this day, most of the hairy icons I look up to are from a precedent era. Messrs John F Kennedy Jr, Al Pacino and Freddie Mercury are part of many men’s formative years. Now, however, there are younger men who are leading a kind of hairy-chested renaissance. One of them is the fashion buyer and TikTok star Mr Albert Muzquiz, aka @edgyalbert. He has made a name for himself online wearing Mr Marlon Brando-style fixed white tank tops that confidently showcase his hairy chest. “I have never really thought too much about body hair being transgressive,” he says. “And that really hairless look was super white. I’m thinking of the Abercrombie & Fitch models. We’re seeing the light as a society that we don’t necessarily want to emulate that super waxed-up whiteness. [We want to] do things that are more authentic and real.”
For Muzquiz and many other men, chest hair is deeper and more political than an aesthetic trend. Body-hair positivity has finally taken over the internet and made space for beauty-standard discussions outside popular culture. “It’s my heritage,” says Muzquiz. “I’m Jewish and Mexican. If you mix those things, you’re gonna get some body hair. It’s my culture, my heritage, so I just feel proud of it.”
The vintage classicism of the 1970s is slowly on its way back. The chest-baring Hawaiian shirts that were worn by Sir Sean Connery and Mr Tom Selleck have become reference points for the SS22 collections of Lanvin and Brioni. If you have a hairy chest and want to flaunt it, this summer might just be the time. Take the open-collar shirts of Messrs Richard Burton and David Hasselhoff or Mr Paul Rudd in Anchorman as your inspiration. A tuft of peekaboo chest hair sticking out is enough of a statement for beginners. If you’re more comfortable getting your heavage out, three buttons left open feels confident and nonchalant. The designer Mr Tom Ford, at 60 years old, rotates between snug black and white and indigo denim shirts, which are always unbuttoned just enough to show off his hairy chest.
“There are fewer rules and trends today when it comes to chest hair across all generations”
The pitfall of dressing for your chest hair is that it doesn’t work with everything. Grass-like tufts poking out of a crew-neck T-shirt or wired locks pricking through shirts are not good looks. That doesn’t mean you have to resort to becoming a smooth dolphin. I recently discovered my clipper’s 1.5 grade attachment comb, which trimmed my chest hair to a length that you can pinch rather than twist into a swirl, which also keeps me cooler.
Once you’re in the habit of exhibiting your chest hair, the final touch is to add some jewellery. I never leave the house without a stack of gold chains round my neck. “A silver or gold chain with a pendant is really important for harmony between body hair and jewellery,” says Muzquiz. He suggests a length that hangs right in the centre of your chest, almost at nipple height. I put this advice to the test on a hairy-chested friend by offering him one of my gold chain pendants. Instantly, it turned his Goodfellas’ uniform of Henry Hill shirts into The Sopranos’ Christopher Moltisanti.
Perhaps the best thing to do is stop worrying about how to rock chest hair and simply let it grow on you. “There are fewer rules and trends today when it comes to chest hair across all generations,” says Langmead. “You can feel as comfortable wearing a sequined jumpsuit over a tattooed hairless chest like Harry Styles or get snapped on the beach with a moderate amount of chest hair like Shawn Mendes.”
Just 10 years ago, I would never have believed that my hirsuteness might be something I would be proud to show off, but as a new generation of men redefine chest hair, I, for once, no longer feel intimidated by the shadows of machismo. I’ve already started undoing three or four shirt buttons in the office, which has raised a few coquettish eyebrows, but I’m finally comfortable in my own skin, no matter how much hair might be poking out. Here’s to a hot, fuzzy summer.