THE JOURNAL

Illustration by Mr Jann Iivonen
Speaking as an itinerant comedian, writer, writer-comedian, actor and man-who-recently-went-on-honeymoon, I have spent more than my fair share of time living on the road and out of a suitcase. While it can be tiring, travelling for work – despite the best efforts of budget airlines and incomprehensible train networks – shouldn’t feel like a punishment. In fact, it can, and should, be actively enjoyable. And, of course, if you’re planning a trip for leisure, then pleasure should be firmly at the top of your list. Either way, if you’ve got live out of a suitcase, do it in style. Here’s how…
01. Making a case for it
Suitcases: dull, utilitarian items that should live almost irretrievably deep beneath the bed, never to be looked at unless packing, right? Wrong. The right suitcase can, actually, enhance your life beyond all measure.
Specifically, there are simply few items more beautiful in this world than a Globe-Trotter suitcase. They bespeak magic, glamour and possibility. They may well induce actual gasps from hardened airport staff. They will absolutely infuse your journey with joy. And then, when you return from your travels, they will give off wafts of vestigial stardust as they sit proudly in your corridor, ready for your next adventure.
But looks and “vibe” aside (again, 10/10 on both fronts), they are also wonderfully practical. Modern Globe-Trotters, with four wheels and an extendable handle, are a dream to travel with, and their hard-shell case contains plentiful storage space. They also get better with age and scuffing, like Converse sneakers, and they last more or less for ever. Factor in that you’ll likely be gifting them to your children and, for travellers, there really is no wiser investment.
02. Dress down – even if you’re dressing up
“Establish a capsule wardrobe,” says Ms Sophie Hardcastle, MR PORTER’s Deputy Style Director. “Working within a limited colour palette means that everything you have packed can work together and be mixed and matched to create different looks. Think tones of grey, navy, and black or khaki, chocolate brown and tan as a jumping off point.”
In other words, pack light, but still pack a sartorial punch. Make sure you’ve got the basics sorted. “I recommend travelling with a crisp white shirt and a fresh white T-shirt to layer under knits or jackets, plus, a pair of jeans and some tailored trousers will cover all bases,” Hardcastle says. And the most essential advice of all: “Always pack more underwear and socks than you think you’ll need.” Correct. If you take only one thing from this piece, make it that.
03. Iron-clad rules (to minimise ironing)
Obviously, avoid packing linen items unless they are completely essential or you are genuinely addicted to ironing. The way you pack can help make your life simpler, too. “Try to create as few folds as possible,” Hardcastle says. “I like laying things flat or folding in half over rolling, but I know that’s a popular tack. Another tip is to put your heaviest and darkest items at the bottom – jeans, trousers – and avoid putting anything fluffy next to anything dark.”
Unpack and hang your clothes as soon as you can upon arrival, to further minimise the amount of laborious ironing you’ll need to do. And finally, for a professional approach to maintaining your wardrobe on the road, Hardcastle sets the bar: “It might sound excessive, but I aways have a lint roller, a fabric debobbler to avoid pilling (a personal pet peeve) and shoe cleaning wipes.” Inspirational.
04. Absolutely clean up
Toiletries are incredibly personal – one doesn’t realise quite how integral they are to one’s daily routine (and even, whisper it, sense of self) until they are suddenly unavailable. Having to make do with an unfamiliar, weird-smelling moisturiser and a strange toothpaste that tastes of liquorice is no way to start your day.
With this in mind, ensure to pack whatever makes you feel you – be that Augustinus Bader’s The Cream, Aesop’s Lightweight Facial Hydrating Serum or a Le Labo fragrance. (NB, Le Labo also has a magnificent tube to protect travel-sized cologne. It’s one of those essential inessentials you’ll be quietly delighted by for years.)
All of the above, and whatever else you require, needs to be stored in a worthy wash bag, of course. Brunello Cucinelli offers a typically beautiful option.
05. Oh, what a carry-on
06. The art of inner-bag storage
There are two states of being: life before discovering packing cubes (if, frankly, you can call it “life”) and life after discovering packing cubes. Everything is easier and better with packing cubes. Separate dirty clothes from clean. Bung your sopping wet swimwear in. They are, quite simply, a game-changer.
07. Don’t neglect the essentials
They’re essential for a reason. Plugs. Cables. Passport. Portable charger. Travel pillow. Whatever else you need. And if in doubt, make a list. “I have a list on the wall of my study of everything I’ve ever forgotten on an overseas travel trip, and it’s still the last thing I check just before I get in the taxi,” says acclaimed comedian Mr David O’Doherty. “This list started in 2007 – it’s been up there for so long there is obsolete stuff on it – an iPod, I don’t need to remember that any more… Currency itself, you just bleep everything on your phone now. Oh, and bring your new jokes. But that’s probably not for all of the readers.”
08. Enjoy an old flame…
No, not like that (unless, you know, you’re both on the market and aren’t both just acting from a place of misplaced nostalgia or monstrous loneliness). But a scented candle is a genuinely solid way to help to stave off the ennui of finding yourself in an antiseptic hotel far from home. Scoff now, rejoice in the hygge later.
09. Give yourself a little space
Don’t allow yourself to fill your suitcase to your airline’s proscribed weight limit if you know you’ll be likely to return with all manner of additional items. Likewise, pay heed to connecting flights with lower luggage weight limits – a gorgeous way to get stuck for a deeply unsatisfying £100 excess charge as time ticks away. So, a £10 luggage scale could be the best thing you ever purchase.
And remember to allow yourself a few kilos of wiggle room in case you come across something essential that simply must return with you. For instance, a month performing at the Edinburgh Fringe is incomplete without also raiding the sublime W Armstrong & Son vintage store before leaving – however, I once forgot to underpack and thus had to wear both a blazer and a jumper simultaneously in order to board the flight home.
10. And finally…
A word of advice from world-travelled cult comic genius, Mr Paul Foot, which you can choose to listen to or ignore: “Always collect (in a shower cap) and reuse the soap from a previous hotel visit,” he says. “That way you can collect the soap from the current hotel, and build up your stockpile, so one day you can die with £37,430 in savings and never having bought a bar of soap, because you always stole soap from mid-priced hotels and had a sad life. Single, but you made a saving.
“Also,” he adds, “a cravat can really set off an outfit.”