From the perfect white T-shirt to the one from the old place of business that now acts as a comfort blanket, the team behind the Chicago restaurant know their way around a wardrobe as well as a kitchen. In fact, each chef has such a fixed vision of what works for them that – despite The Bear being officially the hottest menswear show on TV – it’s best to look beyond clothing for a gift guaranteed to please. So, instead, try some luxury cutlery, to polish. And throw in a life lesson (not a fork).

You can’t go wrong with a gift for George, since he’d consider disappointment, like anger, just a transitory state of consciousness. But the philosophical ceramicist, househusband and devoted dad would no doubt appreciate some new cycling gear. Something formfitting, for the maker of formless vases. Every turn of the wheel is, after all, a smaller fraction of the time you’ve experienced, he’d probably note. But he’ll be chuffed to take his new companion out on a ride.

While he’d hate to admit it, Joel could do with a new watch. The old ticker comes with a lot of sentimental value, but it doesn’t tell the time, which would be useful when you’ve got places to be and there are zombies on the loose. And while you don’t exactly want to replace the one he’s holding onto, a like-for-like model that he could look after might be the way to go. Think something functional and robust, with a hardwearing Nato strap – no mushroom leather, please.

You could go down the “1990s grunge clown” route and cop some brightly coloured knitwear drip. Or a cocktail shaker for drinks that you won’t like. You could even stretch to an electric scooter. But what about a strikingly kitsch objet d’art from homeware brand Houseplant? It looks sick, plus doubles up as an ashtray. Speaking of doubles, Will kinda reminds us of Mr Seth Rogen, who heads up the cult ceramics company. Although we have been smoking.

Logo sweats, zingy shirts, hefty bling – it’s hard not to hit the target when it comes to this genial Chechen gangster or “unicorn with a gun”. OK, probably not socks, as he tends to rock his loafers sans. But what he’d really be impressed with is some crockery with character. And a mug is the perfect reminder of how much you care. After all, he is powered by coffee (and the desire to rule the world).