THE JOURNAL
Illustration by Mr Calum Heath
You may not have given this much thought, but there is some etiquette when it comes to making and sharing a wish list. We are not all grubby children, shoving chocolate paw-printed lists for Santa into our parents’ weary hands, after all. Some of us may even feel slightly uncomfortable compiling a selection of gifts that we want other people to purchase for us. If the act of gifting is meant to be personal and intimate, a genuine and magnanimous gesture on the part of the gift-giver, is making a list actually quite… rude?
Thank goodness, the answer is no. According to Mr William Hanson, London-based etiquette expert, providing loved ones with gift lists is a perfectly acceptable practice. “Christmas lists make life so much easier,” he says. “Especially for the hard-to-buy-for. But, it is not correct etiquette to issue your list unless asked.”
Wish lists, according to Hanson, are to be provided only when requested by the would-be gift-giver, not considered a fait accompli at the beginning of the holiday season. “By all means compile it, but please do wait until family or friends ask for ideas or whether you have a list,” he says.
It’s also kind and right to keep in mind who it is you’re handing a list to, and what their budgets might be. “If they can all afford Balenciaga caviar spoons, fair enough, go wild,” Hanson says. But it’s nice to have a bit of variety on your list, just in case the buyer needs to scale back this year (or, better yet, wants to shell out).
“By all means compile a list, but please do wait until family or friends ask for ideas”
“If there is one very spendy thing you’d like, perhaps something that is more suited for your loved one to buy you, then there is no need to put on the list,” Hanson says. “You should be able to drop a big enough hint to them in person... Or they should know already.”
Finally, in all matters of gift receiving, manners matter. Thank you notes have gone out of style and it’s an incredible shame because when someone thinks enough about you to buy you a present, you should always say thank you.
Hanson emphasises the importance of putting pen to paper when the time arises. “A handwritten missive will carry more clout and gratitude than a text you’ve written as you lie in bed biting your nails,” he says.
And if you have received Balenciaga, “A few lines on a card is the least you can do,” he adds.